Procrastination, feedback and low self esteem

It's Tuesday, not Monday. I had promised myself to write one blog every Monday and share it on Social Media, here and here and here. But I skipped a day because I was busy doing other things. Important things like making contracts and invoices (the day of the event), answering emails (that were left in my inbox for a week unanswered). Walking the dog and cleaning up after the dog (she's one messy puppy). Cooking dinner and giving attention to my children (teenagers need just as much attention as toddlers do, just a different kind). Oh and I also had a long and enlightening conversation with my dear uncle about one's self esteem. It was a productive day and yet I wasn't satisfied because I didn't write my blog.

Everywhere I go I read it is very important to be reliable and consistent in the online world. Otherwise you don't get noticed, or liked, let alone be shared. So every Monday since Summer break I sit down at my desk, think about what I want to share, sort through my pictures and try to write something that is hopefully inspiring, interesting or just beautiful. I get a real kick out of showing you the things I like and I hope they give you a little spark of happiness too.

Today I have nothing to share, because I have been procrastinating. It's a bad thing but I actually do love the word. I think I learned it from my sweet sister-in-law - an artist herself - who writes a beautiful blog here. Pro-cras-ti-na-tion. Not doing what you should be doing. Even things you actually want to be doing! Like using the wool I washed and prepared this Summer. I have so many ideas about what I want to make, but until now they have only lived in my head. In that very unproductive place filled with self doubt and low self esteem, waiting for feedback and recognition to light the fire of productiveness.

The Dutch have a saying about waiting until you weigh an ounce - losing weight would actually be an added bonus, but I just made a deal with my body not to be unhappy with it anymore in exchange for good health (cross my fingers). So while I wait, I guess I'll write and try to make some more...